Broken
by kt2785
Summary: Sawyer comforts a distraught Kate. Oneshot.


**A/N: This is a story about Sawyer taking care of a depressed and distraught Kate.**

Sawyer saw Jack and Juliet standing outside. Jack had a worried look on his face, which didn't surprise Sawyer in the least. Jack always looked worried. But this was different Juliet was talking to him seriously. She hadn't talked to Jack since they were back on the island. Sawyer wasn't wearing his Dharma uniform yet, but he didn't care. He walked out of the house and quickly went toward Jack and Juliet.

"What's going on?"

"It's Kate," Jack sighed.

"What?" he asked quickly. "What's wrong?"

"We don't know James," Juliet whispered and put her hand against his back. "No one's seen her all weekend. People are starting to talk. She won't come to the door. We tried looking in the house and all the blinds and curtains are drawn."

"Give me a minute," he whispered. "Well...it might take longer than a minute."

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I've got all the keys. I'll just go in there and see-" he sighed. "If she's ok."

"Ok," Juliet nodded.

Sawyer looked at Jack and then went up the steps to Kate's house. He knocked, knowing full well that Kate wasn't going to come to the door.

"Come on Freckles open the door!" he exclaimed. He didn't hear any movement. "Ok...I'm coming in!"

He shook his head and unlocked the door. He opened the door and didn't see Kate. He saw nothing in the sink and it looked like no one even lived there. For a second he thought he was in the wrong house, but he knew it was Kate's. He could hear soft crying coming from down the hall. He started walking slowly and came to her door. Kate was laying in the bed, under the covers. Her head was hidden under the covers too. The sobbing was still soft, and almost stifled. Sawyer carefully walked toward her and the floor creaked. He stopped walking, but Kate didn't move. She didn't even seem to hear him.

"Kate?" he said softly. She still didn't answer or move. He sat down on the bed next to her and pulled the covers down. He pushed her hair out of her face and sighed softly. "Hey. What's up?"

Kate couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. She wiped her cheeks and shook her head.

"What happened?" he asked. "No one's seen you since Thursday. You alright?"

She shook her head rapidly and sighed deeply.

"What happened?" he repeated. She shook her head again and sat up, but still didn't say anything. He looked at her bedside table and saw a bottle of aspirin and a box of Dharma wine. Sawyer sighed and picked up the box to find it empty. "You tryin' to kill yourself Freckles?"

She shook her head again and wrapped her arms around her body. He sighed again and ran his hand through her hair. It was greasy and dirty. She looked like she hadn't taken a shower in days. She stared at him, but her eyes didn't connect.

"You look like hell," he said softly. "Have you taken a shower lately?"

She chuckled softly again, but didn't smile and she shook her head yet again. Sawyer sighed deeply and stood up.

"Alright...come on," he said. He took her hands in his and pulled her to a standing position. He pulled her into a hug and she collapsed against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. She didn't notice that she had grabbed a large chunk of Sawyer's hair. He noticed, but he didn't say anything. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck and breathed in deeply. "Oh Freckles. Shh. What happened?"

She still didn't say anything. She loosened her hands and let go of her hair. She had pulled a couple strands out from holding on so tight and they stuck to her fingers. He thought he heard her whisper sorry and he shook his head and sighed again.

"Let's go," he whispered.

"Where?" she murmured ever so quietly.

"To the bathroom so you can shower, because you smell like crap," he told her. She chuckled again and this time Sawyer felt her mouth smile against his chest. He guided her into the bathroom and she began not cooperating

"Sweetheart, you gotta help me out here," he said trying to hold her up with one hand. He wrapped the other arm around her and she didn't start walking. He picked her up like a sack of potatoes, and carried her into the bathroom. He set her down on the floor, and she quickly sat down. He turned around and turned the faucet on. She gasped from the coldness of the tile. He knelt down in front of her and looked at her, trying to catch her green eyes, which were now dark and sad.

"You ready to talk yet?" he asked. She shook her head and put her arms to her chest. Both of her hands were in tight fists. Sawyer checked the temperature of the water and plugged the tub. He looked at her with his lips shut tightly.

"You don't have to say nothin' you don't want to Freckles," he whispered.

"Thank you," she choked on her sobs. He looked at her sadly and put his hands against her cheeks. He wiped her tears and sighed softly.

"Do you want to get into the tub with all your clothes on?" he asked. She shook her head and raised her arms up over her head. He sighed to himself and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes again and lifted her shirt up over her head. He reached over and turned the water off. There was steam coming off the hot bath water. He helped Kate stand and she leaned against him as she took her pants off. It was the first time in his life that he was standing in front of a vulnerable naked woman, and it was nothing to do with sex. He held Kate's hand as she stepped into the water. She sat down and leaned carefully against the side of the bath. She closed her eyes and moved her arms softly in the water.

"I'm gonna go make you some breakfast," Sawyer mumbled.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed.

"What?" he gasped, quickly kneeling next to the tub.

"Thank you," she whispered and sobbed. He shook his head and ran his hand over his cheek.

"Any time Freckles," he said softly.

"Will you stay with me?" she sniffled, the tears still streaming down her face. He scratched his head and nodded.

"Ok," he whispered. He stayed sitting next to the tub and looking at her. Her eyes started connecting and she started looking like his Freckles. She leaned forward and looked at him.

"Will you," she cleared her throat and splashed water into her face. "Um...will you wash my back?"

He smirked and nodded. He took the washcloth fro her and started rubbing soft circles on her back. She leaned forward even farther and put her whole head into the water. He heard her scream loudly and then she lifted her head up and breathed in deeply.

"I'm done," she sniffled and then sneezed from water getting up her nose. She stood up and Sawyer quickly stood up and caught her as she slipped and fell against him. She stood up and he wrapped a towel around her and helped her out of the tub.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"S'ok," he told her. She walked ahead of him into the bedroom. "There's some fresh clothes in your closet Freckles. Can I go make you some breakfast now, or do you want help getting dressed."

"I can get dressed," she said softly, going back to no eye contact. Sawyer nodded and walked down the hallway. Before he started cooking he sat down at the kitchen table and sighed deeply.

"What the hell happened?" he whispered to himself. He looked at the calendar on Kate's wall. It was November 24th 1977. He furrowed his eyebrows and then a light bulb went off in his head. It was Aaron's birthday. He sighed to himself and then stood up to make Kate breakfast. He opened some of the curtains to let the sun in. It was a beautiful sunny day. He looked out the window and saw Juliet coming up the steps. He quickly went to the door and opened it.

"She's ok," he said quickly.

"Hi," she chuckled. "What's-"

"She's-she won't tell me what's wrong, but I think I've got it figured out, and you really need to leave."

"What?" she scoffed. "Why?"

"Why?" he repeated. "Because Kate's devastated and she doesn't need anyone else seeing her this way."

"What?" Jack asked, coming up the stairs.

"I've got it," Sawyer said. "I'm gonna make her breakfast and then I'm gonna put her in bed and everyone is going to leave her alone."

"No," Jack stated.

"Jack," Sawyer began. "I know that you must have some weird history thing going on, but she really just needs some space right now."

"Why do you get to be here then?" he asked.

"Because I got the key," he replied. "Now get out of here...I'll explain more when I-"

"Sawyer?" Kate asked, sounding choked up.

"Fine," Jack mumbled. "But come get me if she's-"

"I ain't coming to get you Jack," he responded. He shut the door and turned around.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she whispered. "I just wondered who was at the door."

"Jack and Juliet," he answered.

"I don't want to see them!" she said frantically.

"Don't worry," he whispered, stepping toward her and cupping her face. "I told them to get out of here."

"Thank you," she said again. Sawyer shrugged and Kate sat down at the table as Sawyer dished out eggs for Kate. She didn't move to start eating. He sat down next to her and waited. She looked at him and reached forward. She brushed his hair off his face and rested her hand against his cheek. "I mean it James...thank you so much."

"Shh," he shook his head. "It's no problem. Just-eat."

"Not hungry," she said pushing the plate away from her.

"Don't tell me I gotta bathe you and feed you," he said.

"I don't want anything to eat," she answered. He looked at her challengingly. He pulled the plate of eggs toward himself and scooped up a fork full of eggs. He flew the fork through the air like an airplane and put it against Kate's lips. She didn't open her mouth, but she glared at him and rolled her eyes. He made the same motion but then put the eggs into his own mouth.

"Hmmm," he said. "Best eggs I've ever tasted."

"I'm not hungry," she said again. He scooped up another fork full and held it toward Kate. He looked at her for a long time, and she finally took the fork from him and ate the eggs off the fork. She started eating slowly, but she didn't look up from the plate.

"It's Aaron's birthday today isn't it?" Sawyer asked abruptly. Kate slammed her fork down and glared at him hard. She backed away from the table and shoved the plate to the floor. She walked down the hallway and slammed her bedroom door.

"And apparently when Kate's made she acts like a 15 year old teenager," Sawyer said softly to himself. He started cleaning up the mess and threw the eggs away and the plate into the sink. Then he walked back to the bedroom and opened the door. Kate was sitting on the bed breathing rapidly. Sawyer knelt in front of her and sighed softly.

"Sorry," he said. She silently crawled under the covers and closed her eyes. Sawyer hesitated before laying down next to her. He put his hand against her back and then pulled her into a hug. She pressed her face against his chest and breathed in deeply. She sobbed and started breathing erratically. She reached up and rested her hands on his cheek. She lifted her head and kissed his lips, letting out a sob and moan. She kissed him again and deeper. He backed away and put his hand against her shoulder.

"Whoa whoa whoa Freckles," he shook his head. "What are you doing?"

"Making a complete ass out of myself," she mumbled.

"Kate just," he sighed. "Give me something here. I've been her over an hour now, and I'm still none the wiser."

"You just said it," she sniffled. "It's Aaron's birthday!"

"But Freckles-" he started.

"Don't say that it isn't!" she exclaimed. "I don't care if it's 1477. It's Aaron's birthday today! And I'm not there. I'm not there helping him blow out his candles. I'm not there to give him the-the stupid toy fire truck that I bought months ago."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"And you-" she shook her head and frowned. "I don't even know what you've been going through. You've missed 7 birthdays. 7 Christmases. 7,000 bumps and bruises. 2 first days of school. Sawyer she's so pretty."

Sawyer didn't have to ask anything to know what he was talking about. She shook her head and looked at him.

"She's got these huge blue eyes," Kate half smiled. "She's-God-she's pretty. I hope one day I have a daughter as pretty as yours."

"You will," he smirked. "Only she'll be prettier because she'll have your little freckles, and your gorgeous curly hair."

"Clem's got curly hair," she said softly. "She's got this long curly blonde hair. You wanna see a picture?"

"No," he shook his head sadly. Kate's face suddenly changed and she looked as if she might burst into tears any second.

"You don't?" she said softly.

"Yes!" he said quickly. "Yes. I'd love to see a picture if you've got one."

"Ok," she whispered, composing herself. She sighed softly and rolled over to the bedside table. She picked a piece of paper out of the bedside table and handed it to Sawyer. He flipped the picture over in his hands, before he looked at it.

__

Clementine Jamie Phillips

Age 5

"Jamie," he mumbled and chuckled. "What was she thinking'?"

"She wasn't," Kate said. "She hates you. She was going to change it, but-never got around to it. You gonna look at it?"

He flipped it back over and saw the little girl. She was smiling widely. She was missing one bottom front tooth. Her hair looked like Kate's other than the fact that it was blonde. Sawyer ran his fingers over the edges of the photo and sighed softly. She had one dimple and blue eyes. They were bluer than his own. He looked back at Kate and shook his head.

"You're right," he mumbled. "She's pretty. Can't believe she's mine."

"Will you stay with me?" she said softly. "Will you just hold me?"

Sawyer laid down and wrapped his arms around her. She held him around the neck and he could feel dampness against his neck. He leaned down and looked at her. She hesitated before kissing him.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"I missed kissing you," she whispered. "I know you're with Juliet, and you're happy, but can you honestly tell me that you didn't miss me at all."

"You know I did," he told her and kissed her deeply. She breathed in deeply, but didn't move closer. He rolled over on top of her and looked down at her.

"James," she said softly. "I miss my son."

"I know," he whispered.

"Do you miss your daughter?" she asked.

"I didn't even know my daughter," he reminded her. Kate frowned and looked like she might start crying again. Sawyer shook his head. "I miss her. I miss not knowing her."

"Thank you for sending Jack and Juliet away," she whispered. She leaned up and kissed him softly and slowly. He kissed her back and then stood up.

"I can't do this Kate," he sighed.

"Why not?" she asked.

"What do you mean, why not?" he asked. "Freckles-"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I know."

"I gotta go," he told her. "You gonna be ok?"

"I'll be fine," she nodded.

"Promise me, you're not gonna do anything stupid," he said.

"I'll be ok," she answered. "I promise. I'll be fine."

"Ok," he whispered and leaned forward. He kissed her lips quickly and softly, and then backed away. He leaned forward again and continued giving her soft reassuring pecks on the lips. "I can't stop kissing you."

"Then don't," she replied. He leaned over her again and laid down on top of her. They were both passionate and frantic with their kisses. Kate lifted Sawyer's shirt off and smiled up at him. He smiled at her and continued to kiss her. They both tore at each other's clothes. Sawyer was being gentle, while Kate was leaving harsh scratches on Sawyer's body. They both gasped and moaned softly. Sawyer pushed all the thoughts of Juliet out of his mind. She was underneath him, and she looked more beautiful than anything he had ever seen. He closed his eyes and laid down on top of her. He kissed her neck and then moved to the rest of her body. They rolled away from each other, but then Kate flipped over toward him and looked at him with a smile.

"James," she said again and she ran her hand over his face and chest.

"Freckles," he whispered and shifted toward her. She had left several scratches on his chest and leaned forward. She kissed his chest softly where her fingernails left marks. She kissed his injuries quickly and softly and then moved back to his lips.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked.

"I'm just a mess. I don't-"

"Shh," he shook his head. "It's fine. You're fine."

"Everyone is going to hate me," she sighed.

"Why?" he asked, running his hand down her body.

"Why do you think?!" she exclaimed. "I just-you're with Juliet!"

"I'm not anymore," he shook his head. "Freckles...I was never _with_ her. I mean she was-she was there for me but-Freckles, it's just-I don't even know how to explain it. I love you. I missed you. You asked me if I miss my daughter...well since I never even met her, I can't really miss her...but I sure as hell missed you."

"I missed you too," she whispered. "But now I'm just a stupid home wrecker."

"Since when do you care what people think?" he asked.

"Are you gonna leave?" she asked.

"Not if you don't want me to," he answered.

"I don't want you to," she responded. He kissed her nose softly and pulled her tighter into his arms. She pressed her face against his chest and sighed softly.

"I love you Kate," he said into her ear.

"I love you too James," she whispered. He could feel her shaking against him and knew that she was crying again. He didn't know what he was supposed to do to make her feel better so he just laid there and held her.

****

A/N: I hope you liked it. It's a oneshot. I've been thinking about a lot of different scenarios of what could happen. I know this probably wouldn't happen, but it would be nice to see Kate and Sawyer both talking about their kids. I dunno. Please review.


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